How Big is Your Heart?

March 25, 2021

She was the one that stretched my heart wide open.

I remember as if it happened just yesterday. It was a painful break-up. I had a huge crash; I was lured into an illusion of perfect harmony and countless possibilities. It was the first time when I actually felt so trapped into an illusion. Normally my self-preserving spidey-senses are pretty strong; but somehow, they didn't tingle. 

When I fell, I hit the ground pretty hard. 

The pain was very alive in me when I joined a powerful meditation on the 10 Wisdom Goddesses. Kali, Tara, Sundari poked and pushed me in different ways. When the time came to meditate on Bhuvaneshvari, the beautiful Mahamaya, all the pain mapped out in front of my eyes. 

I said ‘no, I don't accept that kind of behaviour’; She said ‘let go of that belief’. I let go, a stretch of the heart. 

I said ‘no, I don't deserve this’; She said ‘let go of that conviction’. I let go, another stretch of the heart.

I said ‘I cannot love like this’; She said ‘let go of that pride’. I let go, further stretch of the heart.

And so it went on and on.

I witnessed all of my beliefs, boxes, patterns rise up and She pushed them away one by one until they dissolved in the heart space. All I had left was love that kept pouring whichever direction my attention moved.

It is an honour and privilege to present this magnificent Goddess on my online workshop; 26-29th of March. Looking forward to exploring the vastness of the heart and the illusions of the mind invoking Bhuvaneshvari with you.

You can find more information on the full Mahavidya Program here.

Currently I am going through a review process of the program now that we are hitting half-way. One important improvement introduced among many smaller details is a private Facebook group, ‘The 10 Wisdom Goddesses’ with regular content feeds and live sessions to strengthen the community support. You are welcome to join NOW and benefit from the FREE content. 

There will be further upgrades in the next phase of the program. Please note it is the last month during which current price scheme will apply. If you were thinking about signing up, now is the time to catch these launch prices. 

Much love


Yesterday a little bird entered my room while I was lying in my bed killing time on screen. This tiny little, precious thing whirled around a bit; trying to get out. The open sky and the shades of green seemed deceivingly close, but the bird kept bumping his head on the window glasses. 

I opened all the doors and windows, then stayed quiet so that this call from nature to `come out and play` could find its way out. 

I can relate to that deception. The open sky and the shades of green are close but I seem to bump my head against some invisible obstacles. 

I recognize these subtle signs of transition now. As the seasons change so do the needs of the body to adapt.

There is this urge in me towards lightness; almost like wanting to purge some load out of my system. I started to do more vigorous exercises, added some occasional yogic purification techniques to my routine and feel like doing even more. I am going out for nature walks more often.

What helps especially now is to eliminate the heaviness we collect throughout the winter. It may manifest as extra weight, lethargy, dullness in the mind or feelings of being stuck to a way of living/feeling/thinking.  

Here are some ideas to eliminate this excess kapha; earth and water element in our being:

  • Invite something new every day in your life for a little while. It can be something very simple from wearing a colourful shirt you kept in the corners of your closet to picking up a new hobby.
  • Keep yourself warm; cold temperature aggravates kapha. In case your central heating is cut early to prepare for spring you may want to take extra care.
  • Exercise! This is the most important way to eliminate excess kapha. I am sharing a 20 min Yoga Program that can shuffle your cells back to life on my Yoga Therapy Pill platform. 
  • Detox in a way that works for you. I suggest introducing a fasting day in a week. You can do a black fast or a vegetable juice fast on a fixed day every week. Alternatively, reduce some food items that you don't tolerate well. If you would like to do a more serious detox, I suggest to seek professional help. 

Wishing you a smooth transition into a new season.

Much love


My first Mahashivaratri celebration was a remarkable experience. 

A meticulously organised ritual of music and dance honouring Shiva, the Adiguru; prime teacher of yoga. 

Being totally foreign to the concept of ritual; I came to the night dressed in white as requested with absolutely no expectation, doubting that I would last a sleepless night of meditation. 

We were encouraged to do a stronger practice of yoga and meditation in the days leading to the night. What I didn't know at that time was that the more experienced students and teachers were going full on doing a black fast on that day leading up to the early morning hours and spending most of the day in meditation. Some later reported reaching states of samadhi which even back then seemed like an exciting goal to me. 

The night itself was full of devotional music, dance and above all a gentle overflow of love that wrapped everyone. It was almost effortless to stay in this festive spirit until early hours of the morning while many internal revelations unfolded.

From that night on Mahashivaratri became a date to remember. 

On this night the astrological constellation creates an upsurge of energy that amplifies the impact of any spiritual practice. It is a time to ride this upward wave and celebrate the magnificent creation of cosmic consciousness; this life we live in.

Mythologically; there are several stories around the significance of Mahashivaratri; which literally means the Great Night of Shiva; Shiva being the supreme consciousness. One is celebrating the union of Shiva and Parvati; when Parvati lets go of her ego through her sadhana (spiritual practice) and reaches union with Shiva. A beautiful symbolism of sadhana as a science of union helping us to remove the masks and layers we establish in daily life. The unveiling of ego leads us to liberation. 

I can relate to this myth. My next significant celebration happened by the shores of Ganga at Rishikesh. The sword cutting through my ego went so deep thanks to the magnificent container of my teacher and community there, that it took me months to process that spiritual surgery.

“During the Vigil Night of Shiva, Mahashivaratri, we are brought to the moment of interval between destruction and regeneration; it symbolizes the night when we must contemplate on that which watches the growth out of the decay. During Mahashivaratri we have to be alone with our sword, the Shiva out of us. We have to look behind and before, to see what evil needs eradicating from our heart, what growth of virtue we need to encourage. Shiva is not only outside of us but within us. To unite ourselves with the One Self is to recognize the Shiva in us.”

The Theosophical Movement, Volume 72

I invite you all for riding this wave upwards together. If you would like to join this Mahashivaratri sadhana please reply to this email expressing your interest and we will send you the instructions. 

What you will get:

  • An e-book explaining the mantra meditation that you can do as much as you like until the 11th of March; the Great Night of Shiva. 
  • Suggestions for deepening your practice including a playlist for bhajans and kirtans. 
  • Possibility to join online the synchronized meditation and ritual I will be offering at our Samyama Mindfulness Meditation Centre in Ubud on 11th of March.  

Looking forward to sharing this experience with you.

Much love


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