Today I feel.
I woke up late enjoying the lushness of an off-weekend day. I fell into my body and asked; what do you feel like doing?
`Keep your curtains closed and stay in bed.`
I did.
`Go on a journey through your past and remember the feelings as they come. No searching, no clinging.`
Do you do what I do when I reminisce? At the risk of sounding like #Delirium from #Sandman; what is called the narrative of a memory that you have recalled, then processed and labeled? Today there are no labels, and memories can awaken with a new meaning and taste.
What caused pain in the past felt like a deliciously rich dish with a unique taste. What felt intensely exciting was like a wave that rose and fell.
I read another passage in German from one of my favorite novels. This is what I am doing nowadays. I read in German to let my tongue remember this profound language that I once mastered. Now, it is an effort to catch the melody or find my way around the prefixes and suffixes. It spoke of the endless efforts of humanity to search for a `bigger-than-thou` to belong. How simple rituals all of a sudden make sense and give comfort to the agnostic agonist when on death bed.
So I felt the melancholic belonging when merged in a ritual.
Is there a purpose in just feeling, or is it a means to an end?
Yes and no.
I am grateful.
