Is It About Fixing Ourselves or Accepting Who We Are (Or Both?!)

December 14, 2017

It is my routine to collect some feedback from the participants of 'the Feminine Way' after a few months. I am curious to know about the post effects of such a specialized yoga retreat for women. I want to know how they feel in general; if they managed to integrate their individual program of yoga, tantra and life style changes into their flow; if they are observing any changes in their lives and whatever they feel like sharing. I am not interested in a one-shot excitement, a mere peak experience during the retreat, rather go for creating a change in behaviour in the long run.  'The Feminine Way' transmits tools to use for embodying the best version of ourselves. I want to know if they really work on the recipient.

The Feminine Way

And beyond all that; we bond, we connect at a deep level and we are excited to hear from one another.

Yesterday a participant/friend wrote to me that since the retreat she is experiencing this euphoric state of joy and gratitude for no tangible reason. When she arrived at the retreat the dominant theme in her life was melancholy. While some domains of her life are harmonious there is a struggle around health rooted in an unfortunate accident in childhood. That among all the other pieces of baggage each one of us carries around since the moment of our conception coloured her life blue more often than she liked. Now she is dedicating her amazing mind to create a healthy and joyful life for herself. And I am thrilled to hear, with such good results.

I want to make a pause her to the previous train of thought and delve into our effort to fix all problems with the help of yoga and other holistic approaches. There is a very delicate balance there of doing whatever needs to be done and also letting go to allow ourselves to be. It is a shame if we don't put the effort of applying all the amazing knowledge and technology that has been serving humanity for thousands of years. On the other hand how much can we really help ourselves if our mind becomes obsessed with fixing everything? What we want to achieve is a harmonious state of awareness and perseverance to take the right actions for our particular being at a given time as well as a deep surrender to the flow and surprises of life. The latter may also mean that at times we need to accept the vulnerability of our physical body.

It was a shock to me when my dear healer and teacher told me that she couldn't tell if my body will ever be strong enough to heal all the little things I am struggling with. I didn't want to accept such a notion. The fix-it, type A personality in me rebelled against the idea of having lose ends. However well-being requires an active surrender; which comes with not only taking action but also acceptance of less pleasant plays of life. Not an easy pill to swallow, I know. However the very healing that we ask for may be hidden in that acceptance as it alters our reactions to life situations.

Now connecting the two dots together; here are the two great ingredients of a healing regime: a positive mental state achieved through the yoga practice and a compassionate acceptance towards our body. A proven fact by scientist Candice Perth, the way we feel has a direct effect on our physical well-being as well as the other way around. (For more details on this topic have a look at my blog piece From Psyche to Soma.)

Now I want to invite you to reflect upon your inner journey. Are there areas in your life that require an active surrender; where you want to put effort to fix problems and at the same time you can also perceive a space needed for surrender and acceptance? Your experience may be the inspiration for another; so you are very welcome to drop a few lines in the comments section.

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