This is such a crucial piece of information for anyone and everyone into personal development and evolution that I had to break it down into two pieces.
We are creatures of habit. We have many outstanding habits making our life easier and more practical, productive. But we also have a massive amount of bad habits that keep us from achieving our goals; whether it is getting into shape; building fulfilling relationships or making your first Million!
This video is about how to introduce good habits into your life. If you want to know more about how habits are formed and how to improve your spidey-sense around your bad habits before they kick in, watch my first video on the topic following the link in the corner.
Four Habit Hacks to Transform Your Life
Let's take the habit of starting the day with checking your messages and getting lost in scrolling as an example. This is a big one as a recent study shows that 80%of smartphone users spend the first 15 minutes of their day on the phone.
Parts of you may even object `what is wrong with it!`. Hmm where do I begin?
First of all, you begin a whole new day with a sense of urgency and stress. If this is the seeds that you plant, what can we really reap out of the day?
Secondly, our hormones and our brain is happy when we start the day by looking at the sky, adjusting to the natural lights and `waking up` gradually. Our cognitive functions improve when protected from the blue-light bombardment first thing in the morning.
Third and for me the most important is, it can deprive you from a wonderful morning routine where you do `you`; instead of what the world wants you to. Doesn`t matter what your thing is in the morning; planning your day while sipping your lemon-water, doing a bit of meditation or a 7 min HIIT before you hit the shower.
And last but not least, this addictive relation with your smart-phone can deprive you from meaningful connections. A hug, a thought of gratitude, a short chat with full presence can bring in a whole new meaning to your day.
Habits and Self-Awareness
Ok then, what do I do???
We already said in the first convo that the first step is identifying the cue; the trigger. What kickstarts the autopilot reaction?
Waking up and feeling grumpy or groggy could be your cue. Just to avoid that unpleasant feeling, you may want to bury your face into your phone.
Sometimes it is not so easy and direct to find the cue. Then I suggest you take your pen and paper with your thinking cap on. Reflect on when your bad habit actually happens, how many times, where, who are you with? All these questions may lead you to the exact cue turning your brain into an autopilot response of a habit.
Next thing we want to disrupt that process. You can literally lock your phone away and use a good-old alarm clock for waking up, so that it takes an effort to even get hold of your phone.
This will give you the chance to jump into the next phase of replacing the habit.
I used the beautiful technique of the yogis called sankalpa; positive self-suggestion for that. The moment I find myself in this half-asleep, almost-awake, dreamy state I start reciting a prayer that has stayed with me since child-hood.
Alternatively, you can formulate a simple, positive self-suggestion in present tense and repeat the same phrase again and again every morning in this state. As simple as `I am having an amazing day!`. It should be repeated so often and also be kept so simple that you don't need to gain consciousness and think clearly to memorize; it can just smoothly kick in.
Another idea for a replacement suggestion; pulling yourself out of bed, opening the window and looking into the sky while taking a few deep breaths. Let nature do the trick for you.
Then it is all up to repetition. Repeat, repeat and repeat some more. It takes a large interval of 6 to 169 days to form a new habit; numbers are subjective.
Remember to keep things simple. It is not a piece of cake to pull yourself out of the comfort zone of habitual behavior. But adding new and super simple ways to your routine can change your life one step at a time.
Every-time you are discouraged, have a kind, little internal conversation with yourself. Remind yourself what you will achieve long-term when you change your routine.
You may find yourself slipping into old ways and that's ok. It is important to have compassion for yourself and not drop the ball. I know, the nasty voices inside your head will splash the whip. That is the moment to say to yourself `even if i screwed up this time, I love myself`. `I choose to speak kindly to myself`.
Turning Habits into Existing Routines
Another strategy that works really well for me is to `annex` a good habit into another existing routine.
During the first months of the lock-down I was spending my time with my family in Istanbul and one of the greatest pleasures of my day was a nice cup of Turkish coffee after my breakfast. It was a totally new ritual for me, helping me to take a sensual moment with the deliciousness of the coffee while I was watching the seagulls and enjoyed just `being`.
This intimacy with myself was such a powerful start to my days during a challenging period for us humanity.
So I decided to add another good habit to my ritual; with the last sips of it I would open a book or a magazine and read a bit about any topic that was of interest to me that day. There was no real purpose to my reading other than intellectual stimulation and expansion of my vision on that day. I would read as much as I liked; some days just a few pages others several chapters. As a result I would feel more inspired for life in general and my day ahead specifically.
I suggest that you review quickly what are the good and solid habits you have going for you throughout the day or week and contemplate what you could attach to those without much effort.
And the best part of the practice is to reward yourself every time you manage to bring in a new good habit into your life.
I sometimes reward myself with a nice outfit 🙂 That's my thing.
I hope these little, practical tips can be helpful in breaking repeat situations and create a life that feels spectacular!
Much love
Dijan
